Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Up All Night

My poor baby threw up all over himself and me about an hour ago. After he threw up, he just looked up at me with the most precious face, like he was saying, "sorry mama...I didn't mean to!" It just melted my heart. After bathing him and changing him, we cuddled until he fell asleep again and I put him in his little rocker. Now, I'm awake and figured...why not blog?

I've been keeping a journal for Noah ever since he was admitted to Primary Children's. I've been pretty good about writing in it everyday, which explains my absence on this blog somewhat. I can't believe how fast time goes by each day, even when I'm "stuck" at home. Between feeding him and myself, bathing him and myself, sleeping, doing laundry, folding laundry, vacuuming, cooking, and watching The Bachelor (haha), the days are pretty busy for the two of us!

I just feel like I need to express and share how blessed we've been this past month. When we first got word of Noah's sickness and had to transport him to the NICU at Utah Valley, we immediately saw the Lord's work in action. I finished reading "Following Christ" yesterday and in it, he closes the book by talking about love. If we are not loving others, then we are not showing love to Christ--therefore we are not following Christ. It's one of those "duh" principles that I've been taught my whole life, but now this hits me especially hard. We've had so many Christ-like people help us along the way. Until yesterday, I have not had to cook ONE dinner. For those of you who have had a newborn, this has been a HUGE blessing. It's really tough to cook with a needy newborn constantly chirping in your ear! I can't believe all the meals that friends and family brought to us while we were in the hospitals. We never even had to leave the hospital for food while Noah was at Primary Children's...and for me, that was the greatest gift. I didn't want to leave him unless it was absolutely necessary, and our family members made that possible. On the day of Noah's surgery (Christmas morning), family brought us gifts and just came and sat with us in the empty waiting room while they were operating. I needed the distractions, and it went by a lot quicker than I anticipated because of all the people who came to support us.

Even simple texts or Facebook messages or voicemails from family and friends made a difference. I was not always good at returning these messages, but they sure meant a lot! So if you were one of those many people--thank you!

And that's the difficult part. I sit down to write thank you notes, but I feel like those are so inadequate to the gratitude that I feel inside. I expressed this frustration to Estef (my sis-in-law) and she said, "well, you just need to reach out to others when you see needs--everyone will need help sometime in their lives!" I'm really glad she said that. It's the pay-it-forward concept. I am more motivated now than ever to serve when I see a need! Even complete strangers were bringing us baby clothes and dinner. I can't believe all the angels out there.

I've shared with a lot of people some of the miracles that we witnessed while at the hospital. When Noah was transported to Primary Children's on Christmas Eve, Mark and I were running on zero sleep and lots of stress. We weren't sure where we were going to stay, because I refused to stay at our place in Orem while Noah was an hour away. Well, it turns out that I have a great aunt and uncle who live just a few minutes from the hospital. Not only that...my great uncle used to be the head pediatric surgeon of Primary Chilren's. He has performed colostomies on several children and he actually trained the surgeon who did Noah's surgery. They're neighbors, in fact. I knew that my uncle was a doctor, but I never knew that he was a pediatric surgeon. During that week that we were there, Mark and I were able to stay in their spare bedroom in the basement. They were remarkable hosts, and it was extremely comforting to talk to my uncle about Noah and hear the confidence in his voice that Noah was in good hands and that he'd do great with the procedure.

Another miracle/ tender mercy that I experienced was my milk supply! I was producing 5 ounces per breast in the first five minutes of pumping every two hours...it was insane! I feel so fortunate to have had that while Noah was unable to eat for over a week. I became famous in the NICU at PC's. I had three nurses get on to me about taking up too much room in their freezer, so finally my mom came up one day and brought a cooler and now I have lots of leche chillin' in my parents' deep freezer. It's been so nice to have lots on-hand. We've been using it for Mark's nighttime shifts with Noah. 

Noah's surgeons are heaven sent. Dr. Scarda is the first surgeon who gave Noah the rectal biopsy at Utah Valley to diagnose him with Hirschsprung's. He is the nicest man--he was constantly checking up on Noah and even came on Christmas morning to oversee the surgery that his partner--Dr. Scaiffe--was doing on Noah. During the 5 hour surgery, it was Dr. Scarda who would walk down to the waiting room just to chat with us on his progress. Dr. Scaiffe is also a wonderful man. These two men have families who probably wanted them there on Christmas morning--but instead they were at the hospital early to fix my precious babe! I could complain endlessly about how expensive everything is going to be for us, but when it comes down to it, I'm just so so grateful that there are people out there willing to go to 15 years of schooling so that they can heal others like my Noah. Dr. Scaiffe even went to my uncle's house later that day to chit-chat about the surgery.

I've been thinking about these things constantly, and I never want people to think that I'm not grateful! I appreciate all of our blessings, and know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have been with us constantly. I remember the night before I gave birth to Noah and actually feeling quite alone. I shared this with Mark and I prayed and prayed for comfort, but it never seemed to come. I was a little heart-broken that I had these abandoned feelings. Well, when I really needed comfort and feelings of love from my Savior, he has more than delivered. And it was through the service of others that I have truly felt His love for me and my family.

January 2nd


Our festive Noah shrine

He LOVES Daddy!

He's my little bug!

Getting pictures taken last week


Aaron came to visit, Sat. Jan 14th

4 comments:

  1. Baby throw up is so sad! I hope you can get some sleep soon. Your little boy sure is adorable.

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  2. What a great post, Amy! I may or may not have started to tear up a little. You're already such a great Mom!

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  3. Noah is soooo precious. Seriously the cutest little babY!

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  4. Amy I am in awe of you and your little family. You have gone through so much in such a short time, but you have been so blessed!! I wish I was there to help in your time of need, but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and I'm always looking for you on FB for how you're sweet baby is doing. Love you tons girl!!

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