Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Am I crazy? Why yes, yes I am.

The date was December 31, 2012. I looked back at my year pretty much feeling lousy. Let's just say going from being a productive, task-oriented, planning, studious type-of-person to a stay-at-home-mom was a tougher transition for me than I ever anticipated. I felt like I spent 80% of the year in sweats, greasy hair, a cluttered house, emotionally drained...and if I could put a word to how I felt, it would be a big, fat, "BLAH" written on my forehead. I felt like I hadn't accomplished much and I felt that the Universe was very much out-of-sorts for me and that I couldn't control much of anything. I couldn't control Noah's health, I couldn't control how much sleep I could get, I couldn't control our financial situation, I couldn't control Noah's pain, etc. I weighed the same as I did 6 weeks after Noah was born and--weight aside-- I just didn't feel well...not physically, mentally, or emotionally. I think I just let myself go there for awhile. New year, new me. I bet that's a catch phrase you've never heard! :)

I am saying this assuming that you all understand that OF COURSE I had good days. OF COURSE I didn't fall off a cliff or attempt suicide or anything outrageous like that. I'm just being totally honest. 

Don't get me wrong, I learned and grew and stretched myself more in the past year than I ever had in my entire life. But it was all through Noah that that happened. It wasn't from something that I had done. I needed a goal for myself. I needed to feel validated in my efforts...whatever this goal was going to be. Maybe this sounds selfish, but I realized that I needed to do something for myself.

Now, back to the point.

I talked to my friend Corey on December 31st. She randomly texted me about something...I think it was for Noah's party pictures. Anyway, I asked her if she was running for anything lately and I told her she needed to do the St. George marathon with me in October. She replied, "Do the Utah Valley marathon...it's sometime in June! I'm signed up." I looked it up, and about a half an hour later I paid the $85 or whatever it was. It's June 8th! AAAHHHHH!!!!! I called Mark before I paid, and told him that this was as much of a commitment for him as it was for me (watching Noah, etc.), and he was so so sweet and supportive and said that I should "for sure sign up." And it just happened to be the day before the registration fee increased by ten bucks. Saweet. Also, I had a $10 off coupon at Runner's Corner for shoes that expired on 12/31/12. Corey and I met up that afternoon and bought ourselves some new running shoes. Was that meant to be, or what?! Nothing gets you more revved up for running than new running gear (and looking at Runner's World magazine...my favorite!).

We started training together about two weeks ago, and I already feel so great. This was also around the time that Noah started sleeping completely through the night. I am already starting to feel like my normal self again...that fun, goal-oriented, happy, social Amy, and I can't verbalize accurately how that feels! It's amazing what sleep and exercise can do for you. Wish me luck! Corey is Speedy Gonzalez and I am just trying to keep up!

6 comments:

  1. All I can say is amen sister! I TOTALLY understand what you mean by the transition. It was difficult for me too, and I didn't even have half of the trials you've had. You're amazing! Seriously.

    Good luck with the race, you can do it! No doubt!

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  2. Thanks for sharing! You're amazing and I'm glad you feel like you have things back to normal!! Good luck!

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  3. I love how open you are on your blog! Clearly, we all do. You're amazing Amy, and amen to marathon prep making you feel like a whole new woman! You go girl.

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  4. Amy that's so AWESOME! There are so many times we can just get stuck in ruts about something, and having something like a Marathon to work towards just gives you that extra little spark in your life! (I think running is the cure for everything!) You are such an awesome mom and I can only imagine all the patience you've had to express this last year. This blog was so great, thank you!

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  5. GO YOU!!! Who cares if your fried Cory finishes like 2 hours before you. Just FINISHING is a major accomplishment (I could never do it!). WAY TO GO, AMY!

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  6. Go Amy! I'm so proud of you! It's important to do some things for yourself, even as a busy mamma. I hope your training makes you feel great! You'll snap back into your old self soon. :)

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